CARROT, STICK, CARROT?

Someone who works for you needs to adjust their behaviour to improve their performance. What do you do? Do you give them the feedback "sandwich" of positive feedback - constructive feedback - positive feedback (carrot-stick-carrot)? Or just give it to them straight?

Recent research by Cape Western Reserve University* shows there is a more effective approach than both of those options. The researchers combined the theories about the role of self-image in change (by Carl Rogers and Richard Boyatzis), coaching sessions, exercises and an fMRI scanner to investigate this space.

Rogers considered that individuals have a "real" self, which is who you are in reality, and an "ideal" self, which is who you would like to be (realistic or not). Put simply, your "ideal" self may be the one that goes to the gym every day, and your "real" self may be the one that sits on the sofa and eats pizza. To take this further, your ideal self may be unrealistic (e.g. goes to the gym every day and does marathons every month). Your view of your real self may be distorted (e.g. you think you go to the gym more than you do or you think you eat pizza less than you do).

The greater the disparity between the real and ideal selves, the greater the chance for poor mental health and unhappiness. Some approaches to coaching focus on raising self awareness and clarifying the ideal self so that the real and ideal selves can align. Feedback generally helps to raise awareness of the real self.

What the researchers found is that, rather than focusing on giving that constructive feedback that develops the understanding of the real self, there is greater potential for change if you focus on the ideal self (i.e. what the individual is aspiring to be), and inspire them to want to change. Getting an individual to define that ideal self, and then finding a way to make the constructive feedback be in service of that, will promote more change. Additionally, finding a way of demonstrating how positive feedback aligns to the ideal self will also motivate individuals to lean into it more.

Take an example. Say someone didn't do well at a presenting in a meeting. They talked too fast. You could tell them that they talked too fast. Or, in the feedback sandwich approach, you could tell them that the prepared well, that they talked too fast, and answered the audience's questions well. What would be more impactful according to this research is to identify how they might want to be as a presenter - likely calm, confident, assertive, connected to be audience etc - and work with them to visualise that. Then once you have the visualisation down, you have the chance to inspire them to get there, and you can tie where they currently are (talking too fast, answering questions well etc) into that discussion.

The downside of the approach is that, in my experience, a lot of people don't know what they are aiming for in any particular area. So getting them to an idea of that might take you some time - more than it would if you didn't bother. However, if it means that you get the individual to change their behaviour, which is ultimately the outcome that you're after, then that time investment may well be worth it.

*Jack, A. I., et al. (2023) When fixing problems kills personal development: fMRI reveals conflict between Real and Ideal selves. Frontiers in Human Neuroscience. doi.org/10.3389/fnhum.2023.1128209.